


The Future Reflected In The Rearview Mirror

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, During Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-12
Updated: 2006-08-12
Packaged: 2018-09-03 08:19:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8704801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Dean knows he's destined to be alone.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

**Title:** The Future Reflected In The Rearview Mirror  
 **Author:** Shorts  
 **Pairings/Character:** implied Dean/Sam  
 **Rating:** R  
 **Category:** Slash  
 **Word Count:** 1,025  
 **Spoilers:** None  
 **Note** The rest of my stories can be reached through my memories.

 

THE FUTURE REFLECTED IN THE REARVIEW MIRROR  
By Shorts

 

Chalk it up to a moment of madness, or a moment of weakness, either would not change what he had done. In normal circumstances it would be considered a small thing, but since it involved Sam, it was far from being small. What mattered now was the fall out. The end result being he was now utterly and completely alone.

With a sigh Dean tossed the pebble into the water and watched the small ringlets travel outward, blending and fading, much the way he was feeling. The light breeze ruffled his hair and he squinted against the setting sun glinting off the water, contemplating on whether to return to the motel room or to wander over to the local bar. Neither held much appeal and he remained sitting on the grass beside the small pond feeling the weight of loneliness settle around him like a heavy cloak.

Gazing up at the darkening sky, he surrendered to the inevitable that was to be his lot in life. A life he would never had chosen if given the chance, but that was just it, he had never been given a choice. Every major turning point in his life had been marked by the loss of those he cared about.

Childhood had been ripped from him with the murder of his mother, to be replaced by endless training to fight the dark side of life that most people never knew existed. The years following, which should have been spent playing football and dating, instead was substituted by becoming a soldier for his father and a protector of his brother. That didn’t mean Sam couldn’t take care of himself, but being the oldest, he took the role upon himself to look out for him. Those years were spent relying only on each other and a handful of people that also dealt with the evil that walked among them.

Turning up the collar of his jacket, Dean hunkered down as the sun dipped below the horizon. The chill penetrated all the way to his soul, settling in with no intentions of ever leaving him and in turn caused him to reflect on when his transgression had started.

During the time when childhood departed and adulthood crept upon them, he had started to see Sam differently, yet he kept his feelings to himself, but to him it was neither right nor wrong. It just was and he had been content to keep these new feelings protectively close to his heart. When Sam had left to pursue college and a life that for Dean had only existed as a fairy tale, he still had John. As time passed, his world narrowed even more to hunting and fighting beside his father, creating a life more isolated than he had ever known. Always on the outside as the world passed him by in the rearview mirror as they drove away.

The day came when John hadn’t returned from a hunt and the reality of just how alone Dean was in the world stood in stark contrast to the darkness surrounding him. In a moment of selfishness he went to Sam, drawing him back into the only life Dean knew and the one Sam had tried to escape from. It would have been better to have continued on alone then, than to lose Sam twice.

The time spent together had brought old, secret feelings back to the surface with a vengeance that the absence between them had magnified. He had always tried to be careful, masking touches under the guise of brotherly love, which was a pale shadow of what he truly craved, but knew he could never have.

Today he slipped. Without thought, he leaned over and kissed his brother. Closing his eyes, he could still see the stunned expression on Sam’s face before he jumped up from the table, grabbing his backpack and bolting out of the motel room. Dean tried to justify what he had done as a result of the harsh reminder how mortal life was when the last hunt had gone terribly wrong and almost claimed them both. The relief of still having Sam beside him had clouded his judgment. A poor excuse, but the truth sometimes failed to justify actions.

Running a hand over his face, Dean pushed away the tears that threatened to fall. There was no use sitting here, it wouldn’t change anything. The pattern that had been set into motion at such an early age had finally played out. He stood and brushed the grass from his jeans, gathering himself to face the future alone. Eyes downcast and unfocused, he slowly walked back to the motel. The growing night was black with no moon to light the way.

Moving on auto pilot, he shoved his belongings into the duffel bag and turned his back on the place that had witnessed his unforgivable sin. Dropping behind the wheel, Dean started the Impala, allowing it to idle as the familiar rumble filled the silence. Roughly rubbing away the tears that had tracked down his cheeks unnoticed, he shifted into reverse and glanced in the rearview mirror. His heart skipped a beat at the figure standing directly behind the car.

Sam shifted the heavy backpack hanging over his shoulder and slowly walked around to the passenger door and opened it.

“Sam?” Dean stared at the image of his brother leaning partway into the car. His heart hammered inside his chest and his throat constricted at the sight.

“Guess we’re hitting the road, huh?” Sam tossed his backpack into the back and slid into the passenger seat.

“Sam?” repeated Dean, trying to come to grips that Sam was here.

With soft eyes, Sam gazed back at Dean. “It’s okay. _We’re_ okay.”

Although Dean wasn’t exactly sure what Sam meant, he could only nod and accept Sam’s word while a feeling of understanding passed between their locked gazes. Not everyone he had ever cared about had gone away, diminishing in the distance in his rearview mirror. Soaking in the solid presence of his brother, he aimed the car toward the dark highway, comforted by the beacon of light sitting beside him.


End file.
